Chuckle Brothers Not Arrested in Child Sex Inquiry

By Peter Wilson

Comedians Barry and Paul Chuckle have not been arrested over allegations of child sex abuse.

South Yorkshire Police confirmed that two men in their late sixties were not arrested near Rotherham on 7 May.

The entertainers and quiz show hosts – best known for their BAFTA nominated television show ChuckleVision – were not released on bail yesterday as they were not even contacted in the first place.

A police statement confirmed neither was accused of destroying the sexual innocence of young boys at any point in their 40 year careers.

The Chuckle Brothers’ non-arrest came after information was passed on by Metropolitan Police officers working on Operation Yewtree, South Yorkshire Police said. A spokesperson for the police force said: “South Yorkshire Police can confirm that neither man has been arrested in connection with a historic child sex abuse investigation.

“It’s baffling. I mean you’d just kind of assume, wouldn’t you?”

The brothers – real names Barry and Paul Elliot – have been in the entertainment industry since their success on television talent show Opportunity Knocks in 1967. Their big break came in 1985 with the children television show Chucklehounds, in which the two brothers dressed as giant dogs and mimed at toddlers.

“That’s just weird”, the spokesperson continued, “look at their moustaches”.

The two alarmingly faced men have been the stars of ChuckleVision since 1987 and have performed in pantomime for decades. They have come within stroking distance of literally tens of thousands of cherub faced, tender thighed youngsters over their careers. Regardless it seems they simply enjoy entertaining children with their pastel shirts firmly on.

A spokesperson from Operation Yewtree said: “Despite the understandable assumption they are carnal monsters, slithering perverts who seek to destroy the beauty of youth, we can confirm the Chuckle Brothers are just nice guys.”

The Chuckle Brothers are continuing their acclaimed 2013 Spring Tour as they have not committed a harrowing crime.

The spokesperson concluded: “This may be the start of a shocking trend in which the majority of our childhood heroes turn out not to be paedophiles”.


One comment

  1. hopelessengland · · Reply

    the english are fugging balmy – but it takes the mind off the working poor.

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