‘I Can’t Believe It’s Been This Easy’ – Cameron On NHS Privatisation

By Michael Burton

David Cameron’s never been a man to mince his words.

PM Approved head only ii

Today was no different. In perhaps one of his most honest interviews to date, Cameron spoke candidly with The Hawk earlier today.

Wearing beige chinos and a pair of white converse, Cameron greeted me warmly, as I entered the Priory Tavern in Kilburn. ‘Mike!’ he beamed, ‘how are you pal? What do you fancy? Beck’s? I’ll get these, don’t worry. Take a seat, you must be shattered, the hours you do.’

Although I’m used to being in the presence of powerful people I still appreciated his relaxed manner. I took a seat and observed him as he bantered with the barmaid; pointing to a non-existent stain on her top and then flicking her nose as she looked for it. He seemed joyous, carefree; his self esteem was that of a child who’d been applauded for learning to walk. This demeanour remained for the entire interaction.

We bantered lightly for a while; We talked of the weather, parties we’d been to, our favourite Dylan album; he tried the finger trick on me but I was wise to his wily tricks. After the frivolity had run its course, I asked him about the privatisation of the NHS.

‘I can’t believe it’s been this easy mate, I really can’t. The response has been incredible: Apathy. No one cares! It’s brilliant. All I had to do was limit the news coverage about it and no one gives a shit!’ He laughed, ‘I mean, it’s like they don’t realise that they’re gonna have to pay to go to hospital! Bye bye spirit of ’45, hello profit!’ His eyes twinkled with the excitement of himself.

‘When I first told Boris about it, he ordered five new water cannons, ready for the riots we were expecting. He hasn’t used them! They’re just gathering dust!’ He could barely breathe for laughing. It was nice to see him happy. He often looks very serious on TV.

Once he’d settled, he continued, ‘Don’t get me wrong there’s been a few nut-jobs protesting but we just ignore them and carry on up the Cameron path. I think after the tuition fees protest, we made it pretty clear to the youth that there’s no point kicking up a fuss – we’re not listening and we don’t care. And, besides, by the time enough people gather together who do care, it’ll be too late. They can’t riot then, it’ll cost them too much when they get put in hospital.’ He chuckled to himself. ‘Right, gotta split. Me and George are off to play mini golf.’

We stopped briefly outside the tavern to snapchat a selfie of ourselves to Samantha, before parting ways with a fist bump. It was nice to see him happy.


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