Category Law & Order

Royal Corginapper Caught in Police Operation LONDON – Police can confirm they have helivaced three Welsh herding dogs to safety after a daring brunchtime raid. Deputy Commissioner Enid Powell informed reporters that, “The animals -who will not be named for legal reasons- have been successfully rescued from a hip Shoreditch bistro.” “A suspect is now in custody. It was quite […]

Andy Coulson: “The affair never negatively affected our criminal activity”

by Pete Wilson At the Old Bailey on Monday, the former editor of the News of the World apologised openly for his “wrong doings” and “immoral actions”. Asked by the court if he was referring to the charges of serious breaches of privacy in the name of tabloid titillation he replied: “Oh no, I meant […]

Malaysian Flight MH370: Cumberbatch Refuses to Solve Mystery

By Daniel Bradley The last three weeks have seen wild speculation, contradictory theories and inconclusive evidence as to the fate and potential whereabouts of the missing Malaysian Airlines flight, MH370. While pressure has been mounting for Malaysian Airline officials, the Malaysian government, Chinese authorities and Australian and U.S. Navies, there is one man who owes […]

Drunk Beckham Calls Public ‘Bunch of Fickle C*nts’

By Michael Burton What was supposed to be a quiet visit home turned into news story of the week last night, when a drunken David Beckham, accompanied by Victoria, let rip at members of the of the public, calling them a, ‘Bunch of fickle c*nts.’ One of our reporters happened to be at the scene […]

Gordon Ramsay Terrorises Amish Village

by Daniel Bradley A cold-blooded serial killer is on the loose. He weighs 150 lbs, he is 6ft tall and he now dwells in Mannheim, Lancaster County; a small Amish town whose residents live in perpetual fear of attack. These simple folk are known for living quiet and secluded lives. However, panic now sweeps through […]

Football Machine Gun Frenzy & 9 Other Stories You Need To Read This Week

by Peter Wilson Light entertainer Bruce Forsyth continues to deny his deceased status. ‘I’m not dead’, insists phantom dancer. Crippled by debt, the Irish Government announced the Republic is to be converted into an Irish-American theme park. Isle of Craic will open to the public in summer 2014. Barack Obama stated at a press conference […]

Chuckle Brothers Not Arrested in Child Sex Inquiry

By Peter Wilson Comedians Barry and Paul Chuckle have not been arrested over allegations of child sex abuse. South Yorkshire Police confirmed that two men in their late sixties were not arrested near Rotherham on 7 May. The entertainers and quiz show hosts – best known for their BAFTA nominated television show ChuckleVision – were not […]